© 2011 Music in Education Works (MEW)

Scene 1 : Mary's sitting room

The angel Gabriel, some cool dude, tells Mary that she is going to have a baby. The rest of the family can't see him, and sceptically refer to him as the invisible man. Another angel whizzes us through time, and Mary and Joseph prepare to leave for Bethlehem in Joseph's old Skoda.

Scene 2 : Broken down in a Bethlehem street

Mary and Joseph are desperate to get their broken down Skoda fixed.

Scene 3 : Wise man's sitting room

Some wise people, considered spectacularly unwise by wives and friends, prepare to follow a special star. People make fun of them, but they continue to pack for their journey in the Transit van.

Scene 4 : Herod's tactics room

Herod is particularly concerned about rumours of a child king. He decides to let the RATS, (Royal Action Team), find this baby in spite of their incompetence. The Clouseau type chief of police is not much use either.

Scene 5 : On a park bench

Mary and Joseph find themselves in a park outside a Pets' Corner. Joseph uses a mobile phone to confirm the hotel room, only to find it has been double booked, and they have nowhere to stay. The baby kicks, and a pet keeper offers to let them rest in his office while an ambulance arrives.

Scene 6 : On a hillside

Gabriel talks to some bored sheep and tells them that Mary has had a baby at the Pets' Corner, next to the stable. He then tells the shepherds.

Scene 7 : Mary's sitting room

All's well that end's well. Gabriel ends the play as he started it ... invisible.

Rock Around Christmas

Synopsis

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Terrific catchy songs. Another bestseller.

The nativity story updated... Gabriel the cool dude, Joseph and Mary in an old Skoda, gifts from Argos, stargazers in a Transit van, a pets' corner, paramedics... an exciting contemporary and traditional mix.

Cast

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Sample Script

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Herod              A king? … a king? … what’s all this about a king then?

Min 1              Your majesty, there must have been some mistake.

Herod              The only mistake around here was appointing you lot in the first place! There's only going to be one king around here and that's me! Get it!

Min 2              Yes your majesty.

Herod              Well you will get it if you don't sort this mess out.

Min 3              Sir, they were only three half-wits in a Transit van. I'm sure there's no need to panic.

Herod              Why does it have to be the Transit trio that tells us about this star king? We've got a whole pile of astronomers, astrologers, and stargazers writing                       columns for newspapers all over the place, How come one of them didn't twig                       anything? Haven't you heard any rumours?

Min 4               Well I heard about Mrs Maudley at number 56. Her Albert was ….

Herod               Not that sort of rumour nitwit … about the stars.

Min 4               Well I heard that Mel C (or other topical pop star) doesn't like fish and that.

Herod               Not that sort of star nitwit … rumours about the sky I mean!

Min 4               Well I heard that aliens sucked Tina Bradley up into their space ship and …

Herod              Did I really give you a job? I must have been off my royal rocker.

Min 1               May I make a suggestion sir?

Herod              Well, what a novel idea … (shouts) why didn't I think of that! Of course I want some suggestions! That's what you're paid for, suggesting things! (Quieter) Either that or for using as draught excluders … you've got about the same number of brain cells!

Min 1               Send for the RATs.

Herod              (Looks at Min 1 incredulously) How could a spot of bubonic plague help? You're worse than him (Points to Min 4)

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